purpose can be guided by serendipity and persistence
I’ve always been reassured that it’s okay not to know what you want to do, that pivoting was normal, and that most people don’t stick to the first plan they had. While this is sometimes a comforting notion, and though I don’t claim that my experiences have been linear, I do feel as though all roads have subtly led me towards my passion and I’ve been very aware of this process all along.
I will admit– my first quarter at the UW came with a lot of change and redirection. I thought I wanted to pursue Neuroscience and Psychology, aspiring towards a research/STEM career, and the impressive feedback I received from telling this to others was temporarily motivating; however, I quickly realized from a humbling experience in MATH125 that this was not a pathway that fueled my fire (See Letting Go). It was one that was filled with anxiety, dread, and uncertainty. I knew that psychology still brought me curiosity and excitement-- and I was accepted to the major the following year-- but out of curiosity, I started exploring the field of education as a supplement to it, and before I knew it, I was reunited with authentic passion.
In my second quarter at the UW, I took EDUC215: Wellness and Resilience in College and Beyond taught by Dr. Jaclyn Lally and Dr. James Mazza, which single-handedly changed the trajectory of my academic pursuits within and beyond my undergraduate career. In this class, I was introduced to an intersection of Psychology and Education that completely encapsulated my interests, values, and goals. This course, centered on Dialectical and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy principles taught through skills-based tools that students can apply in their everyday lives, showed me how support systems and skills can be preventative and accessible. I enjoyed the class and value the knowledge I gained, but I saw deeper meaning than just credits. It was an example of mental health work that directly aligned with the suicide prevention and intervention goals which had initially motivated me to pursue psychology, and it was the first time I considered its application in the context of education systems. Throughout this process, I invested myself to connecting with my professors and teaching assistants, understanding how this major provides a graceful transition into the graduate program of school psychology, and contributing to the in-time refinement and building of the education series through which allowed me to complete three Honors Ad-Hoc projects, one of which is pictured below.
As I continued engaging in my EDUC major courses through the main curriculum and my ad-hoc projects, Dr. Lally and I grew closer. When she shared she would be hosting an independent study for students to continue engaging in wellbeing work, it was an opportunity I jumped on. During that quarter, I grew closer to new people. I collaborated with some peers, Sarah, Camila, and Jill, to explore qualitative research analysis and we used data from the EDUC courses to practice, pictured here:
Through this process, myself and a group of other peers also got involved in the prospect of creating a new Registered Student Organization (RSO) as an extension of the course content and a space to continue cultivating a community around it. I came up with the name– WandR: Wellness and Resilience– and it became officially registered the following Autumn. However, during this time, Owen, Sarah, and I were also encouraged to turn it into a research project and apply to the National Association of School Psychology convention the following year. Hopeful yet realistic, we crammed the application by the beginning of June and were shocked when we were accepted. It was such a full-circle experience because I was able to strengthen my relationship with Dr. Lally and my EDUC peers, which inspired the RSO, which allowed us the opportunity to explore research and travel to present at the NASP convention.
Despite so many serendipitous experiences occurring and on the horizon, autumn quarter of my senior year was perhaps one of the most challenging times in college I had endured– emotionally and workload wise. It was the busiest time for all of my Student Leader and work positions with recruitment happening in Hall Council and the inevitable busyness of new students coming in for advising, I was taking 16 credits with was no balance in my workload and hours of reading every night, I had applications due throughout the quarter for various scholarships and opportunities I was interested in, and my grad school applications coming up. It was tough, and I spent many evenings on the phone with my mom crying at the end of an exhausting day. I also had my first almost-all-nighter experience, staying up until 4:00am to finish an assignment this quarter. Nevertheless, while it was an arduous few months, as I worked through my school psychology application, what kept me going was the active articulation of my why that helped me remember why this work was meaningful to me. You can find my grad school applications below, which I truly feel capture some of my most authentic, comprehensive, and prideful bits of myself.
Come winter quarter, I was ecstatic to receive an interview offer for the program. Getting to have conversation about the interview with the TAs who had inspired me in the first place, as well as Dr. Lally and Dr. Mazza who provided reassurance, encouragement, and constructive feedback, and then actually communicating this during the interview made it feel all the more real. Pictured to the right is me preparing my laptop for the zoom interview and making sure my outfit looked good on camera, and below is my emotional support Taylor Swift playlist I used to pump me up and calm my nerves throughout the day.
Energized from the quarter being over and my interview going smoothly, I was so focused on NASP that I wasn’t mentally prepared to receive my graduate school offer the following week– way sooner than they told us to anticipate. I accidentally opened the email, instantly burst into tears, and called my mom. It felt like a cultivation of all of the hard work, all of the realizations, all of the experiences, and all of the “whys” coming together– and to top it off, I would get to celebrate with my current and future mentors in Chicago while presenting about WandR. Naturally, shortly after I got the notification, everyone else in my world did too.
Chicago was an extraordinary experience, and only served to solidify my understanding that I am in the right place. We had the opportunity to listen to presentations and engage in versatile workshops, and though it was exhausting rushing from session to session and rapidly shifting gears to get into the right mindset for every new topic, it was also extremely informative. Some of my favorite sessions-- which spanned skills-based burnout prevention to navigating the uncertainty and safety of education-- included “Microhabits to Get off the Struggle Bus and Into Thrive Town,” “Disrupting Harm: Empowering Black Students Through Culturally Responsive SEL,” and "Trauma-Informed Approaches to School Shooting Prevention and Intervention." When it came to our poster presentation, we only had a handful of people stop by and ask questions, but we eagerly answered and presented our elevator-pitch that was practiced in the hotel room the night before. UW school psych students and faculty stopped by too, some offering hugs, some eager to hear our spiel, I knew I was in the right place.
As I’ve continued to prepare for my transition to grad school, through attending Admitted Students Day and getting a tour around a campus I know so well, passing the WandR torch to interested undergraduate students who will continue the club, and setting up plans to return to Seattle, I think about how pivotal it has been to have known what I wanted to do and to have sought out opportunities over the years through vastly different yet interconnected experiences that have led me right where I hoped I would be. It is an unexpected, yet extraordinarily fulfilling, thing to have worked so hard towards the pursuit of what I thought mattered to and beyond me and to now have it in my grasp. Each step felt all the more empowering, meaningful, and purposeful the closer I got, and despite the Honors program instilling in my skills of reflection, I am still at a loss for words that my reality is everything I hoped it would be.
(speaking of serendipitous happenstances... I will be a graduate TA for EDUC215/216 next year... truly full circle)